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We have a huge problem when it comes to sexual education and understanding what is normal and abnormal when it comes to sex, sex drive, and sexual activities. Because it is considered a taboo and stigma, we end up worrying about sex-related topics, getting information from the wrong sources, and stressing out for no reason. Here are a few things you should know about your sex drive:
There is no ‘normal’
One of the biggest issues with sex drive is that people think that there might be something wrong with them when they compare their wants or needs to others. It is normal to be curious about how other people feel about sex, but it doesn’t make it normal or abnormal. If you feel the need to have sex every day, once a week, or once a month, what you feel is normal for you. Some couples have sex every day, while other couples have sex every couple of months, and others are somewhere in-between.
The frequency of sex can change based on many factors, including age, which phase of the cycle you’re in as well as how long you’ve been together. The important thing is for both partners to be equally satisfied with the frequency of sex and that your sex drive isn’t too low or too high in comparison to your partner leading to problems. As long as you have open communication, you choose what is normal for you.
Desire is impacted by many factors
Sexual desire changes during your lifetime for mental, emotional, and physical reasons. Sex drive is impacted by pretty much everything such as menstrual cycle, hormonal birth control, pregnancy, medication, health issues, sex education, trauma, body image, stress, and even breastfeeding and menopause. When you go through different stages in your life or you feel differently, it will affect how you feel towards sex.
Sex drive, desire, and sexual arousal are very different
Your sex drive is your body’s need to have sex. However, just because you have the need, it doesn’t mean you’ll have a desire for anyone or will be easily aroused. The way you feel towards your partner will make you feel the desire of having sex with them specifically and what they do will help with your sexual arousal. Knowing what you like and being direct with your partner about what pleases you will help with sexual arousal and feeling physically turned on towards them.
You deserve to orgasm
There are many women who confess that they have never experienced an orgasm before and are indifferent about sex as it doesn’t please them. Because men tend to orgasm faster, it sometimes affects women climaxing, or sometimes it is just poor sex education where both men and women are unaware of how to please a woman. Everyone deserves to orgasm and that’s why you should be open with your partner about what feels good, avoid faking orgasms, and find ways to ensure you both climax during sex.
If you do not feel the need to have sex for over six months, speak to your doctor
While we previously mentioned what is normal for you is considered normal, there are some health conditions that can affect your sex drive. For example, if you haven’t felt the need to have sex for 6 months, you could be suffering from female sexual interest/arousal disorder which is a condition that affects sexual drive. If you find yourself unresponsive to your partner, feeling no need to have sex, and it starts worrying you, speak to your doctor as there are options that can help put you and improve the situation.
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