Sexual health, awareness, and any relevant topic are still considered taboos in Egyptian society at any age and marital status. Girls are raised up to believe that they are not allowed to ask questions even related to their bodies and the changes that happen to them.
Mostly, they get married with the least sexual knowledge and the continuous belief that they shouldn’t be open with their husbands about their sexual desire and all relevant emotions. This definitely prohibits a divorced woman from expressing herself in such a conservative society.
This is the critical topic we decided to tackle in this article to help divorced women understand their needs, accept themselves, and realize they are not alone. We interviewed Dr. Noha El Nahas, founder of Heal Counseling Center and Adjunct of psychology, American University in Cairo, to tell us about the sexual drive after divorce.
Does sexual drive increase or decrease after divorce?
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El Nahas assured that sexual desire differs from one woman to another and no rule applies for all. We can’t link sexual drive to divorce only as it has many other factors like the hormonal level, age, previous experiences, and psychological state. “If a woman suffers from depression after divorce, one of the common symptoms is low libido,” El Nahas highlighted. “This woman might feel weird about herself; however, this is normal according to her mood especially if she had a traumatic sexual experience during the marriage.”
Sexual desire after divorce is not a stigma
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El Nahas explained that in our culture, unfortunately, women are always stigmatized for having a sexual desire whether they are single, married, or divorced. “Women shouldn’t feel guilty when they feel sexually aroused as it’s a natural basic need we are born with,” the psychologist stated.
Divorced women specifically face many challenges in this matter. After divorce, many might lose confidence in their sexual abilities. It’s even worse in our society where a divorced woman is easily labeled, look at as a second-hand and used woman, and receive indecent relationship proposals. “The worst is that the woman feels guilty for having a sexual desire in the middle of all those challenges,” El Nahas pointed out.
A divorced lady has to understand that libido is not a button she can switch off once she got the divorce. “Some women start to feel they don’t have the right to feel especially if they are single moms with many responsibilities,” she further explained. El Nahas clarified that the woman’s age is a major factor in the equation because, for example, mid-thirties is the most hypersexual period for women.
The bright side, according to the psychologist, is that a divorced woman becomes aware of her needs because she already experienced sexual intercourse. El Nahas explained that this makes her know how to seek pleasure and satisfy her partner when she gets married.
Does going to the gym soothe sexual desire?
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After divorce, women are advised to practice sports and occupy themselves with some activities. As explained above, every woman has a different sexual nature; excessive sports might work with some ladies in controlling their high libido. “However, a woman should understand that sexual desire will not disappear by any sort of sports, they could just act as a sort of distraction,” she explained. It’s a need that a woman has to be aware of.
The masturbation taboo
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El Nahas stated that masturbation is a sensitive issue in many aspects. Excluding the religious aspect from the conversation – as this is not the psychologist’s field of expertise – the psychologist stated that masturbation is a natural activity that helps in letting go of sexual tension and pressure. El Nahas believes that this is a personal choice that depends on every woman’s state, background, beliefs, and circumstances. A woman might choose masturbation rather than getting into an abusive relationship or bearing sexual stress.
El Nahas advises divorced women to seek professional help whenever they feel any inconveniences related to this issue.
Further reading: Vaginismus: Vaginal Spasm Is a Medical Condition, Not the Woman’s Fault
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