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There’s been so much buzz lately about the Jordanian TV series, ‘Al Rawabi School For Girls’. The TV series takes place in a high school and tackles important social problems such as bullying and the impact of family relationships on a teenager.
The series is eye-opening, not just because it shows all the possible dangers and risks that teenagers are subjected to, but also how any disturbances or issues that happen at home can impact a teenager’s behavior and self-confidence. One of the main topics that surrounds the show is bullying, where it comes from, the severe implications, and how it can completely ruin a person’s life.
In this article, certified positive psychology and parenting coach, Rana Hany, discusses how a child turns into a bully and things that parents do that force kids to find their self-worth and confidence by harming others.
“Don’t you know who my father/mother is?”
This statement has been used for several generations and is a source of arrogance, ego, and entitlement that portrays that some people are better than others just because of their status. If a parent uses this statement, it makes them feel that they can abuse their family status to get out of trouble.
This ‘wasta’ prevents them from understanding the consequences of their actions and makes them abuse them by feeling they’re superior to others based on their status. This false superiority and indifference turn them into bullies who can harm or humiliate others because they know that they can get away with it.
When we’re bullies ourselves
When we make fun of our children’s hair, looks, behaviors, or humiliate them by being sarcastic at home, or even just see us bullying others or making sarcastic comments to be humorous, it is normal for them to do the same. In fact, most parents will not even label it as bullying when their child makes everyone laugh.
Violence and abuse in the household
A child who is subjected to violence and physical abuse at home channels their anger and weakness by taking it out on others. The need to harm others by being a bully is a way to prove that they’re far from the weak image they have of themselves as a result of their parents.
Lack of compassion
One of the things we sometimes forget when we raise our children is the importance of compassion. This can be showing compassion and empathy towards their problems instead of belittling them, to the fights they have that we think of as useless, or even towards their whirlpool of emotions that we feel are exaggerated. Raising a child with compassion is one of the most important aspects of raising a physiologically and mentally stable child.
Making a child feel they’re not important
A child who doesn’t feel a sense of belonging or their importance at home and always feels that his/her parents are always busy with more important matters will fill the need to grab their attention. They will cause problems and become a troublemaker because that’s the only way parents acknowledge their existence. Most children who do not feel important at home will resort to bullying to gain a sense of power that makes them feel important.
- Parenting: How to Raise Compassionate and Kind-Hearted Children
- Parenting: How to Raise Independent and Responsible Children
- My Child Is a Bully. What Should I Do?