To all divorced dads who have sons,
You just went through a divorce for whatever reason it is. Whether it was your fault or the mother’s fault, or whether life simply couldn’t continue between you and your wife for any reason. Whatever it is, the end result is you got a divorce. I am speaking especially to dads who have young boys who will grow up to be men; men who will get married one day and have a wife of their own whom they must learn to treat well.
Dear divorced dads with sons,
Please remember, no matter what, you are still the father of your son. Even after getting a divorce, you must always remember that you will remain the father of your child and your ex-wife will remain the mother of your son. you will always be a role model to your son, even if you don’t live with him in the same house. On the contrary, your son will be watching and monitoring your every move when he visits you.
Boys always look up to their fathers and children imitate what they see. What I am asking dads is for them to treat the mothers of their sons in a respectful manner after the divorce. There is no reason to mistreat your ex-wife, especially in front of your son. First of all, by doing so you will be sending your son a message that is is ok to to mistreat women, which will reflect on the way he treats his mother and eventually his future wife.
Second of all, your son might view your treatment to his mother as hurtful to her and this may backfire on how he feels and treat you. Bad-mouthing your ex in front of your child or talking to her in a bad way will not do any good to your son and will only make him resent you even more.
Why can’t things just be simple after the divorce? It’s absolutely OKAY if you and your ex wife take out your son together and act like friends. Treating your ex-wife well in front of your kids won’t strip you from your manhood nor will it make you any smaller or weaker in front of your wife. Even though your ex-wife has legal custody of your child, you still have responsibilities towards your son and she should be able to call you anytime to ask you for help or ask you for advice or take your opinion on a certain situation. Just because you got divorce, it doesn’t mean every single responsibility is on HER.
Picture this scenario: It’s time to see your son, you call your ex-wife and ask her how she is, how her day is, how everything with your child is. Then you tell her that you wish to see your son and ask her that the three of you go out for lunch. During that outing, you get to see your son, your son gets to see you and his mother together, even if you aren’t in a relationship, and your ex-wife feels secure – if for any reason she faces a problem with her child – that the father of her son will be there for them. That’s the way it should be.
Please remember, we are raising future generations, we want the world to be a better place for OUR children. Please bear in mind that getting a divorce doesn’t mean war. This is how life is, relationships come and go, and people change which leads to divorces. However, with proper handling of the situation, you can teach your sons to love and to be loved. You can teach them that women must be properly treated, not only because she’s your mother, but because that’s how real men are.
Teach your sons to be real gentlemen and to treat women with respect, love, and affection. Don’t confuse your son and make him build a wrong understanding of how he should treat his mother or other women. This will also help make things easier for you and your son if you and your ex get back together. Remember, you are your son’s one and only role model, make sure you are being a good one!
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