Grandmothers are a Godsend for every mother and child, especially with the incomparable love and relationship they have with their grandchildren. However, it can be a nightmare when it comes to parenting because a grandparent’s love is pure to the extent that it could easily interfere with a mother’s parenting style.
That’s why it is quite common for mothers and grandmothers to constantly face conflicts in the way kids should be raised or the rules that need to be set, especially if you end up living in a family home. When you say no, the grandparent will say yes, making it difficult to raise a kid with so many different rules and opinions.
The question is, who will the kids even listen to or obey? And how are you supposed to handle your mother-in-law? In this article, our positive parenting guru, Rana Hany, shares her advice on how to control the grandmother’s interference.
- The first and most important rule is to avoid arguing or fighting with your parents or in-laws in front of the children. That’s because this will not only upset and disrespect the elderly, but you’ll also be allowing your kids to portray you as the evil witch who only says no.
- The second rule is to make sure that both you and your husband are aligned when it comes to your parenting goals, even if you disagree when they’re not around. It’s essential that you unify your parenting methods in front of your children.
- Refusing interference in important matters should be done calmly and with the right choice of words that do not show any disrespect. Apologize for taking a stance and explain that in these matters you are obliged to follow the parenting method and rules that you previously agreed on with your husband.
- If the grandparents are not convinced with some of the restrictions you’ve added, such as preventing certain food due to allergy, then it is essential that you are constantly around when visiting the grandparents to ensure your child’s safety.
- Set ground rules with your children on how they should behave outside the house, as well as the consequences that will occur due to breaking any of the rules. This will prevent them from taking advantage of the situation and hiding under their grandparent’s protection.
- One last golden rule is to make sure your kids know that you will not parent them in front of anyone else. They must understand that your house rules are implemented inside, as well as out of the house. Yet, any comments you have concerning your kids’ behavior will be discussed only within the household privately. This will help the children not to listen to more than one opinion and get confused.
Further reading: Should I Be My Child’s Friend or Mother?