While we may not notice it, children actually have a lot going on in their minds. Sometimes, they don’t speak to their mothers about certain issues as they are too confused to ask, may not understand the way they feel or the emotions going on inside them. As a single mother, my child has begun asking me many questions which, to be honest, I was not prepared to answer.
He asked: “Why am I an only child?” or “Where are my brothers or sister?” “Why don’t I have siblings?” To my shock, I stayed quiet for a couple of minutes and then asked him where this question came from. His response was simple and pure: all his friends had brothers and sisters while he didn’t.
In situations like these, it’s best to turn to a professional to discuss how one should react. To give you a better understanding of what to do if you are a single mother and your child asks for a sibling or why he doesn’t have one, we spoke to Rana Hany, our certified positive psychology & parenting coach to get her expert advice.
So what should I do in this situation?
According to Hany, the most important thing a single mother should do when her only child asks for a sibling or why he or she doesn’t have a sibling is for her to validate her child’s feelings.
“You should tell your child that you understand how they feel and that it’s their right to ask for something like this,” Hany advises. She continued, “If you tell your child things such as “Am I not enough?” or “Why are you asking me this question?”, you may give your child the sign that you are ignoring their feelings and that their emotions aren’t important.”
According to the positive educator, the second thing a mother should do is to be completely honest with her child. “Saying something like ‘I wish I could give you what you want, but you know I am not married and to give you a sibling, I have to be married’ is the best way to handle this situation,” Hany explains.
Finally, Hany stated that to try to overcome this obstacle, the mother should speak to her child about the positivity of being an only child. She stated: “Having other positive thoughts can help the child take his or her mind off the idea of not having a sibling.”
Rahet Bally is every mother’s support system, join the biggest community of moms in Egypt, save on your daily motherhood expenses with our Rahet Bally Discount Card, and get back in shape and eat clean with our tailored Rahet Bally’s Motherhood Fitness & Nutrition Program.