Let’s face it; life has become very difficult for our generation in all aspects. So many mothers stay in abusive relations; whether emotional or physical for the sake of their children. Many women stay in relationships because they fear not being able to spend money on their kids. Others worry about the social stigma of getting a divorce; whether it’s the judgment from family, friends or society in general.
The number one question every mother asks herself when she’s put in the situation of deciding whether she will get a divorce or not is, “Will the divorce affect my kids?” So many thoughts go through their minds and the fear of getting a divorce may put her at risk of staying in the wrong relationship for so many reasons.
We spoke to Senior Clinical Psychologist and Family and Marriage Therapist, Yasmine Magdy, about the impact of divorce on children and when a woman should know that she’s done with her marriage.
Does divorce negatively affect children?
“No, divorce does not negatively affect children, but I believe the only time it does not cause a negative impact on the children is when it’s done in a civilized way,” Magdy explained. “When both parents are on good terms and when the transition is done properly and the child gets proper access to both parents without any issues it makes a big difference. For example, the father comes to see the child and read a bedtime story to them, visits his kids more than once a week; all these aspects make a difference.”
Getting a proper divorce is extremely important. Having a family day, for example, is extremely ideal for these situations. Being on good terms even if it’s only in front of the child plays a very important role in how the child will handle the divorce.
When do you know that enough is enough?
“What I usually tell any woman is that the fact that she’s seeking the answer to this question from someone else means that she’s not ready for the divorce and that she’s still ready to fight for her relationship. The day she’s done and knows that she really wants the divorce, she will find herself out of the relationship and seeking therapy from the divorce,” Magdy told us.
“The radar of knowing when enough is enough varies from one person to another. There will be a time where you hit rock bottom and know that you can no longer continue the marriage. There are different variables with regard to taking the step of divorce. Some women fear the social stigma of divorce, which no longer exists as it used to. Other women feel like they still love their spouses and don’t want to have any regrets,” Magdy continued.
As long as wives are feeling this way then that means they should give their marriage a little more time. In the end, there will be a point when the woman will be sure that she is ready for the divorce. Magdy gave a piece of advice for all women deciding to get a divorce or not is to know the facts and know your rights. Don’t ask for a divorce unless you are completely content with your decision. If there is a divorce, it is important to sign a contract between the couple which should be respected by both parties as well. Also seeking psychological help if anyone feels like they have depression or anxiety is very important to help overcome any psychological issues.
Further reading: 5 Single Mom Struggles and How to Overcome Them