Children are curious by nature and always question everything around them. At a certain age, they will start to notice the different communities they are surrounded by. It’s very normal to find your child commenting on lifestyles or behaviors that are different than his parents’.
One of those things is wearing a hijab. If you wear a veil, you might find your child asking you why other relatives and friends don’t. It’s a parent’s role to explain what’s right and wrong and also raise non-judgemental children who can independently make their own decisions, without disrespecting others.
This is not an easy mission as children are surrounded by constant bullying and social stigmas. We interviewed our certified Positive Discipline Educator, Rana Hany, to guide us.
Will our friend be punished by God?
Via: CBTV
The positive discipline educator advises us to explain to the child that this is her friend’s choice and that you chose something different according to your religious beliefs and that you are both good people.
It’s not uncommon to find the child taking things further. “As the child is being introduced to the concepts of reward and punishment, they might ask whether or not a person might go to hell for their actions,” she clarified. The mother should explain that we should never comment about or judge anyone’s choices.
Hany added that we have to explain to our kids that every person’s relationship with God is a private and spiritual one and nobody knows who is right and who is wrong. This is not for us to decide. Everyone makes their choices based on their beliefs.
How not to raise a judgmental child
Via: Medium
Hany said that the golden rule is to lead by example. “A judgmental mother will definitely raise a judgmental child”. A child learns how to judge if he is judged by his parents and always receives negative comments from them.
“If the mother always negatively evaluates others, the child, in turn, will acquire this behavior”. If your child comments that someone is wearing revealing clothes, for example, you must explain that everybody is free to choose what to wear and it’s nobody’s right to label her.
How to raise a decision-making child?
Accepting others doesn’t mean adopting others’ behaviors or questioning your own beliefs. Hany explains that this starts by empowering the child. Starting at a young age, the child should make small choices regarding bedtime routine and the clothes he will wear, for example.
“It’s even important to leave him enough space to choose things that we don’t approve as long as they don’t violate major rules,” she said. This will help the child believe in himself and make decisions in the absence of his parents.
Be the light!
Further reading:
- My Daughter Told Me She Hated God
- My 6-Year-Old Child Is a Sexual Harasser
- Play Areas Conversations: “I Can’t Play With You Because Your English Is Bad”
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